Relative PERSONALITIES???

This is something that I got curious about during my college days.

To begin with, I studied in an All Girls Catholic institution for 14 years…my entire school-life. And that too most of them who were like moi, in the sense they too started off with me in kindergarten and lasted with the same set through junior college. Hence I was only exposed to this small sample set of aforementioned specimens. So Engg College brought me closer to so many more species and that too of varied types.

I am a person who is completely introverted. I wouldn’t open my mouth and talk to strangers unless and until they approach me with atleast a “hi” or a “hello”. This is the reason why the proclamation in my profile in the “About Me” section was put in. Almost all of my first-opinion has had me classified as an ARROGANT SNOB who DOESN’T TALK TO OTHERS.

Could anything be more unfair? :(

Anyways, to set the record straight; almost all of them who took the first step with their “hi” and “hello” realized how misled they were by my silence. And these have also been the people who were patient and slowly drew out from under many layers of self-doubt the real person that is me. And these are also the people with whom I am still in touch and still call as my “small circle of friends”.

The problem was that this opinion changed only for “almost all” of them. The rest of them stuck to their pre-conceived notions of my personality judging only by my introverted behaviour, which I really cannot blame much. So, big deal… who cares!!!

But I digress…to come back to the main thread...it did form the basis of a very interesting study for me that stemmed mostly only from the curiosity to know how the same person could be so different to different people.

So partly because of the reason stated above and partly because I had to come up with something nice for my college magazine, I decided to put pen to paper about this “thought” that pretty much intrigued me in my alone-moments. What you will now read below, is an “updated” version of what went into my college magazine.

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THE THEORY OF RELATIVE PERSONALITIES

I have noticed that a person puts up a different front to different people. Now, please pay attention…not different “faces” but different “fronts”. As in each person seems to bring out a different “personality” from within him/her.

If you tried to experiment a little and tried to switch this behavioural-pattern between the people you know; you would be looked up and down a few times, a few unbelievable blinks and angry glares are sure to ensue too and your well-being would be enquired about in stage whispers!

The million dollar question is this: Why are we so different to different people? Why aren’t we the same to all and sundry? We are the same person no matter with whom we are, then why this change of “personality”? Does this mean we are hypocritical? What is equally astounding is the number of varied stances we take with different people depending on the circumstances.

What I’m really trying to say is that though we are basically one and the same but we have dazzling dimensions to our personality which are brought to the fore depending upon the people and the vibes that we “intuitively” pick up from them.

People, to whom we have a liking, bring out the best in our nature. Ever wondered why you develop an instant dislike to a particular person whom you have just met, for no rhyme or reason? This is what people label as “intuition”. We all have an “intuitive” nature that guides us through, whenever we meet new people, and it is this “intuition” that is responsible for the “apparent” change in our “personality”: when we meet-up with our old pals or otherwise even when we strike-up a balance with a new-found friend.

Now I can’t say much about others ‘cause I haven’t really done some research or random survey across a good sample population. But looking down into myself I can say this: I am all basically three people: one, what I am to my family; two, what I am to my friends and three, what I really am; “The real I, Me, Myself!”

We change our personalities to suit the other person(s) expectation(s) in such a subtle way that it is totally indiscernible to most others and even us! There is a sort of split-personality or alter-ego automaton within us, which works at incredible speeds that’ll even baffle a super-computer! It is this automaton that switches between the myriad personalities within us to suit the company and the circumstances.

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I don’t claim or state anything in the above post as FACT; I just wanted to pen down my own experience with the people whom I have met in this journey of mine so far. Neither do I claim that this is the single-most truth of behavioural patterns amongst people. It’s my blog and this is just one of my ramblings that I wanted to write about. :)