D Day!

Well...here it is...

My very first blog...

Guess this boring day in office had to finally come to this...

I have been so jobless since Diwali in November and guess its going to continue this way for another couple of weeks...I have got my next allocation but "work" in its true sense hasn't started yet...but well I do have a system which I can fiddle around with...I've been Googl(e)ing, Wikiying since lunch and I've become so bored of even that and well so here I am...blogging...

OK...I believe in a little anonymity on the web and so let me give some very little details about moi!

I am a compulsive dreamer and an incurable romantic...added to the fact that I am impulsive, passionate (as in temper/temperament), shop-o-holic, ice-cream-a-holic, choc-o-holic and not to brag but on the blessed side as regards looks....

I will never call myself beautiful cause in spite of all the adjectives used above, one adjective that I will never use to describe me is vain...but I do take the liberty to address myself as pretty, adorable, sweet-looking and the like from time to time... :)

A typical Southie (and proud to be one!) I spent the major part of my life in a small, quaint little town down south with my small family...my childhood was almost perfect and my adolescence and teen life was spent being cluelessly dreamy and ignorantly romantic about the various "dreams" and "aspirations" of that age...my graduation was along the same lines with a few major changes...all through I had a wonderful time knowing and learning about myself...

I was brought up to believe (and understand) that once I get a professional education/degree, I would have to pick and choose (not that I would have much choice, really) from amongst a list of pre-chosen and pre-approved guys, marry that fated being and settle down in life. Oh yeah, they would be expecting kids in the first year itself. They meaning my parents, my grand-parents, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins...etc. And believe it or not, I was gleefully and happily looking forward to it. It wasn't until my pre-final year of graduation I decided to start a self-exploratory journey. To know me better. To know what I want from life. To know what I would give back. To know what on earth am I doing in this life. So on and so forth...its been two years since then and I know I wouldn't have gotten so far if I hadn't made that one crucial decision...

And that being the fact that I saw my own sister succumb to such a life and I realised I would die rather than be in her shoes. Fine, she had a loving husband and I'm not lying here. My brother-in-law dotes on my sister, is very romantic, sweet, nice, everything that a girl could want. Yet I hesitated to step in to the same kind of life. Me, the person who imagined and planned even the colour and type of bindi I would wear for my reception and the menu (the foodie that I am!) that would be served and what not! I suddenly remembered about a little girl who wanted to be alone. Who wanted to know what homesick meant. Who wanted to suffer by eating unpalatable food in some god-forsaken hostel/PG. Who wanted to lie alone in the room suffering in fever with no one to ask "What happened to you?". I wanted all this. And more.

I wanted to see a business card with my name on it. I wanted to see monthly bank statements with a lump-some amount in it. I wanted to see that same money disappear and stack up in the form of shopping bills and eat-out bills. I wanted to have a tag around my neck that i would proudly show-off and remove only after entering my room. I wanted to be MYSELF!

I fought. I cried. It dint work.

I started telling scaring stories of girls who made bad marriages. It dint work. (My sister was there to prove that wrong, she had made a wonderful marriage)

I rejected all the guys whom my parents put in front of me. It dint work. They found more.

Then, somehow before I knew it, I was shopping to leave home for my job. And then before that would end I was on a train waving goodbye and bravely gulping down tears. And then I had it all. All that I listed out before. And now...now what? Its like that Amul AD...

"I WANT MORE!"

I have been working since then for the past two years...and guess it was destined to be this fateful day that i would pen these things on a blog...on yet another boring day at office!