May I ask why you opened up this blog?

"okk
may i ask why you opened up this blog? i mean why do u blog!! "

Now, this was the question I got when I told my friend to stop by my blog and let me know his thoughts. This is the prose form of the chat (in first person) which followed this significant question.

Being a S/W engineer, I have these phases wherein I am so loaded with work that I hardly get a breather and then there are these phases wherein I have no work at all! So (as my first post truthfully proclaims) I got so bored in office one day that I started blogging. Plus, its nice to write about things I do/did and most importantly I get to exercise my creative writing skills.

But a blog?

Well, in that way I can get feedback on what I write and improve myself.

But do I really get the kind of feedback on which I need to improve?

Well, right now I just want the right kind of people to start reading my blog. But for that to happen I have to write as much as I can about almost everything under the sun so that some people will appreciate it or fight over it and that will increase readership and then I will write about the things that really matter. Things that will make a difference in the lives of others or make them feel kindred towards me.

When someone asks me something I can be so darn politically correct that no one will NOT not like me. But that's too much responsibility! Especially a brat like me. And a lazy one at that.

So, what follows now is the TRUE reason why I started blogging. And I can vouch for its authenticity with my very dear life.

One day my roomie asked me the meaning of the Malayalam lyrics in the song Jiya Jale from Dil Se. She just loves that song but being a Punjabi she can't (obviously) make head or tail of what the guy keeps trilling about in the chorus. She asked me and of course I didn't know. It was difficult to explain that I am a tamilian and that doesn't necessarily mean that I understand malayalam. And no, madrasi does not encompass all south Indian people. So then, there dawns this amazingly boring day in office and I just Googled for the meaning of those lyrics. I stumbled upon this blog. I felt very kindred towards certain things that she had blogged about and I was really impressed with her writing style (still am) and the best part was that it came across as being truthful. Nothing fakeish. At least, that's what I felt (still do). She is a typical S/W engineer like me and so I thought to myself that the day I get bored, maybe I will start one too. Alas, I was sadly new to blogosphere and realized much later that half the Indian bloggers out there are S/W engineers. Or worse still desi grad students in the US of A. So, on that fateful day (Ref: my first post) I started writing or rather blogging.

I was quite late to be initiated into the world of reading according to my family standards. Whereas my sister started as early as 7 or 8...I started at 12. But I fell in love with books easily enough. It was the one solace I had to escape from school, homework, studying and not be reprimanded. Even on the eve of a test or exam, amma would turn a blind eye if we had a non-school book in hand. We justified it as "a break from studying" and amma believed us readily enough. Because she wanted to. And there began my life long relationship with books and reading and this obsession for languages. And somewhere along this relationship I wanted to give back in a small way by writing myself. I get a warm, nice feeling inside of me when I read a good book. I feel kindred if the subject and character are easy to relate to my current predicament in life. When I am in one of my zombie-phases struggling for answers, I think up nice pieces in my head. The kind that only comes to you in those moments of profound realization. And the minute I reach out for a pen...POOF!...I go blank. So I've come to identify a blog as a medium to try in my very best way to come close to expressing those elusive pieces.

You may ask...why not a diary?

Well, a diary that ONLY I can read? Nah...I do a sloppy job then. I tried that once.

Now, a blog is a different story. I know people are going to read it. So it keeps me on my toes. I know I must deliver to a particular level of acceptance that should satisfy OR at least match with a good cross-section of the blog-reading/writing junta. So that makes me want to do better. Why? Because I was bought up in a society and studied in a school and college where external validation was the only means to measure my self-worth. And I carry this with me unfortunately in everything I do.

But to be fair, I am the kind of person who when/if left alone can get so darn lazy that I wouldn't even lift my little finger. And of course I am as clueless as the next person in this world. That's why everyone relates to The Sunscreen Song. If I had my way, I would while away time doing absolutely NOTHING. But if I do that, then I cannot do the other things that I occasionally also want to do and enjoy. I want to travel the entire world...I want to earn money, lots of it...then spend it like hell...I want to cook exotic dishes and make people submissive to my whims by just hypnotising them with my culinary expertise...I want to own at least ten different type of cars and drive them around crazily...also, I want houses in different styles in various decor themed interiors...I want to have a wardrobe the size of a Macy's store all to myself...and some such similar fantasies that most people nurture in their minds.

Ans I need a motivation that will make me want the above stated fantasies so much so that I actually do something that will take me 1/100,000 of an inch closer to achieving at least 1/100,000 of 1 of those 100,000 fantasies. This motivation comes in various forms, shapes and sizes. Initially, as a kid it was my rod-wielding amma. And to this day I am thankful I had her in my life. I refuse to think of alternate scenarios of my life without her presence through those struggling years. I did everything reluctantly...constantly shouting myself hoarse that I was a victim of tyranny.

Work is the panacea for the illness of laziness in me. Plus, money is a nice luxury. However meagre it may be. And the hope that things will get better one day. How? When? Where? What? are all questions that are yet unanswered. Right now, hope is the only thing that seems sensible to hold on to.

But I do need to be myself (confused, lost and seeking external validation) occasionally.

And so I blog.

P.S. : This post is dedicated to Sarad who was the brave-soul who ventured to ask me the question in the first place. :P

Its HAILing!!!

Some pics from the hailstorm that hit Bangalore on the 30th of March, 2008...It was my first hailstorm!!! :)

Mum "NOSE" Best! I

As a kid, I was quite the little devil brat who drove my mom up the wall every single day. From the day that I swallowed a hair band and gasped for air to the day that my sister popped a small pebble into my mouth cause my mom once made the careless mistake of telling her that pebbles look like chocolates and the one historic day when it rained and I slipped out of the house to the terrace, promptly climbed on to the parapet wall, held on to a pipe and trilled in my sweetest voice to " Oh ho megam vanthathu..." !!! You see I couldn't forget the vivid picture that Revathy made while dancing to that song in Mouna Raagam. After all, I was just 5!

After such near-death situations in which my mom must have died a few hundred deaths, she decided to lay down the rules. Thus came into existence our own version of "8 Simple Rules". Only, there weren't 8 rules...there were a 100! And they weren't rules either...just my mom's way of letting me and my sister know the "consequences" of our actions. I am listing few of those here. So, here goes!

I – Poori Paati:

Always take small sips of water between your food otherwise you will choke to death with the food getting congested in your chest!

Before: I used to stuff food down my willing throat!

After: To this day, I drink water more than I eat! *gulp*

II – Light-ning Effects!
Don’t watch the lightning when it’s raining, you will become blind.

Before: I’ve even given her some mild shocks by looking out the window and turning to her after a vicious flash spread thru the sky to ask: “Amma, enga irukka? Enakku onnume theriyala...ellamae iruttu a irukku!” (Mom, where are you? I can’t see anything…everything is dark!).

After: I still look out!

III – Gypsy Girl!
Don’t hang upside down, your brain will become damaged and you will be deranged.

Before: I used to sit on the sofa facing the back-rest and bend outward to lower myself upside down and watch TV.

After: I get a nice feeling doing it once in a while! :P

IV – Apple of my EYE!
Don’t rub your eyes. Your eyelids will stick to each other.

Before: Well, as a kid I had this horrible allergy to chalk powder. My eyes would become red and puffy and swollen and watery. I never gave up!

After: I used to walk like a soldier with my hands held rigidly to my sides.

V – Sweet Tooth
If you swallow a toffee, it will clog your stomach and you will eventually die.

Before: I love popping them into my mouth. And so as to beat my sister and eat more than her (you see, it was my sweet tooth which made me crave!) I would swallow many of them.

After: I tried my best not to swallow them *gulp* and I spent many a night without even closing my eyes for fear that the toffee would clog my stomach and I would die in my sleep !

All mom's come up with such scary tales to keep their kids at arms length. But my poor amma had to go the extra-mile just so I wouldn't end up killing myself in one of my many pranks! There are more to come on this topic...so keep watching this space! :)